A-B-C-D-E-FG-H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P-Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z
Now, imagine all the word possiblities twenty-six mere letters can form. Just thinking about it conjures images of rich ying yang pudding swirling in a never ending pit, blown by a wireless fan, hanging upside down from a flower planter in North Carolina. Don't ask me why. It just does.
After realizing the magnitude tiny letters have over communication, it is no wonder why some people feel empowered to using every single word they are thinking of during one conversation. Hey, it's their prerogative. Afterall, pudding overpowers my self control against sugar. Don't ask me why. It just does.
But, have you ever realized grown-ups have an inability to express themselves in fewer words than are written on the graying paper of the New York Times? They will deny it.
However, when asked by a parental unit why you are late for a curfew, you give a meager response of "I don't know". Then, they spring like cheetahs on the prowl, frusterated out of their witts over their childrens' lack of clarity. And the greatest part is they don't even realize their own ambiguity.
Wake up and smell the caffeinated coffee, elders! You are the main culprits. Oh, curse thine alphabet. And here are two short stories I shall tell, using nearly all twenty-six letters we all love dearly.
(names are crossed out to remain somewhat anonymous):
Student: Mr. M, excuse me. Are we having a quiz tomorrow (asked ten minutes before the end of class)?
Mr. M: Uhh, ehhh, I think we will see about that (in a weird inflection only Mr. M can produce).
Student: Oh, ummm ok I guess.
[This little skit takes place EVERYDAY, during EVERY CLASS. How ambiguous must he be? It's not like an upcoming test is a deep, dark secret which needs to be kept from us IB students. We eventually need to know if we're having a test the very next day, preferably before the bell rings! Just say one of two words you learned as an infant: Yes or No. I believe in you... you've had 65 years of practice.]
M Dog: Let me write an elaborate Word Document full of fluff so that the message you want sent out is misinterpreted and then we can do the same thing again five more times until they get it right.
Me: Sounds lovely.
[Why can't people understand that when dealing in the "show business" you must detail things explicitly and easily enough for even a monkey to understand? Perhaps I'm simply hurried, but I don't waste time. When one has (insert everything I do here), then frankly free time is inexistent.
Sorry if I may be curt, but I prefer to say "You misspelled #2" rather than "If at all possible, could you double check the spelling on the seccond line from the top because today I was just pushing my grocery cart in Publix and realized the word "rabbit" is spelt with two 't's', not three."]
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