Psyched for Poland

In honor of my upcoming trip to Poland, here is a compiled list of actions which my ID swears "These are fabulous things for you to do, Dorothy." While flying amidst the fluffy white porous clouds, the following possible scenarios will be running through my mind at the pace of twenty steroid induced stallions rounding the corner gate. Things to do while in an airplane (did I mention this will be a 10-13 hour flight?):

1. Cry whenever a baby cries on the plane.
2. Disco dance in the aisle
3. Try to lead plane in song "Oh I wish I was an Oscar Myer Weiner"
4. Lead a bible study session in the back of the plane
5. Set up a stand selling my own diet soda cheaper than the airplane is selling it for.
6. Switch accents and see if anyone notices.
7. Organize my collection of bandaids.
8. Ride carry-on luggage down the aisle.
9. Stick a moustache to the bottom of my seat.
10. Look surprised when I find a moustache on the bottom of my seat twenty secconds later.
11. Carefully inspect the moustahce I find, sniffing it, writing down it's make and weight (thanks to my handy-dandy pocket scale) in my spiral notebook.
12. Put the newly-found moustache into the breast pocket of my sweater, with eyes darting every which way suspiciously.
13. Stroll up and down the aisles, asking if anyone wants to buy the rollex of moustaches.
14. Sell a moustache to a flight attendent. *

*Only do so if I can't determine whether the flight attendent is a male or female.


Oh, and my ID is also the "thing" which said "Stand up during the middle of a church sermon, expose your belly button to the freshly stale air, and climb onto the pew all while staring intently upon the priest, nodding every five secconds enthusiastically." My ID is out to publicly humiliate me. However, these requests are more reasonable. Ish. Reasonableish. Happy flying to all, and to all a goodnight!